sorry havent been updating . internet been's abit sot lately (:
there are days where i feel on top of the world. like im so blessed for everything i have . but there are days like today where i feel i have nothing . like . my insignificance hits me.
well . anyways . its been quite a christmas for me . though i did spend christmas at home . not about the presents (: i always hear that every year . and i nod my head and tell others that its about the SPIRIT of christmas . mostly half hearted . this year . i really must thank God for everything . EVERYTHING :D
ohkay . before that . today first :D stayed home today . morning went to extract two more teeth . and this one . was much much MUCH more painful !! haha . she was practically yanking at my face . so pain )): i can still remember . she injected so many times . but i still felt the pain =x the top . she injected 2 times . the bottom . fourr times !! )): i was wondering . where in the world did that long needle go . diaos . so by the time i went home . i thought the bleeding had stopped le . but then . just as i sat down on the sofa . it started bleeding again . so much . some drippped on my shirt =x it was a different type of pain . i couldnt move my jaw . and everytime i swallowed saliva . it hurt alot ): couldnt take it . so .. thought of going to sleeep . praying that it would be over by the time i woke up .. but . no ): i woke up .. to bloood all over . YAY ? ('.' ) it was kinda irritating . couldnt do much . well . all i ate today was . yoghurt and some dumpling . at least can use this opportunity to jian fei (: so .. pretty much spend the whole day at home . qiang went to stay over at his friend's house . so .. it was just the four of us . SERIOUSLY . all dad could talk about was food . F O O D . and the internet's sot . so there was nothing else to do . im not allowed to do vigorous activities . so . couldnt swim orr go for a run .
we are the reason that he gave his life. we are the reason that he suffered and died . to a world that was lost he gave all he could give . to show us a reason to live (:
i will never forget what happened on the 23 . where for the first time in a long time . i felt God's presence in me . where he made things clear to me .
for the whole day. i spent the whole day in prayer. i really wanted God back into my life. i didnt want to block him out anymore. i just had to know how . i prayed . everywhere . queue-ing up for the toilet. in the toilet . out of the toilet . come to think of it .. it was abit wierd. but .. it does prove the power of prayer (:
i can never forget , being in the hall of chc . where during the drama . with the candles. i broke into tears. i couldnt control it . i dont know why. i felt a very comforting warmth . like the holy spirit put his hand on me . telling me that its ohkay . my heartbeat was racing . i could feel myself trembling . i could feel God filling my mind with countless thoughts. clearing all my doubts of obscurity and vulnerability. that i had been searching at all the wrong places. when he was right in front of me . it really touched me . i broke into tears right there and then.
however. something that struck me. was the little boy who sat in front of me. barely .. 3 years old ? i could feel his fire for God. it was the kind of age , where you wouldnt expect him to know how to speak. much less listen . but , he lifted his hands to the Lord. jumping with so much enthusiasm. it really inspired me (: and i felt God spoke to me through him.
well . now that i've felt the word . i have to know the word. all over again . thats my next goal ! :D really must thank julia . for saving me from back-sliding . really (:
heartofGodchurch